Dear Friend,

You wanted me to send you a warning of what to expect as I crested "over the hill"... I'm not there yet, but will be in a couple of weeks. Knowing that you would be following close behind me, I thought I might send you a travel diary starting early to get you prepared. I know we are all concerned and you might want a little notice of what to expect - considering I am going into this totally unprepared even though I have five older brothers and a very good school buddy and they never told me nothin' ... not that I am bitter or anything, but I hope all their hair turns grey (oh, wait, it already has).

T-(minus) 14 days
I spent today looking backwards. I've got plenty of time, what's the hurry? So, not much to report except, as I was looking at yesterday, I tripped over something called AARP.

T-(minus) 13 days
OK, back to my marathon ... getting a second wind and I can already see the crest of the hill. It's only a slight up-hill battle - this is going to be a breeze. I might be getting a bit dehydrated though, because my joints are beginning to get sore, which may have started a while ago. But I am sure it is dehydration because my hair is also drying out, becoming brittle, a little gray, and is thinning a bit. No, wait, that isn't the crest, that is just another bump in the road.

T-(minus) 12 days
Did someone raise the road, it is getting much harder and steeper and I think that 'second ' wind was just gas.

T-(minus) 11 days
Darn, slept late this morning. Did I miss it??? The crest of the hill, did I sleep right through it? Oh, good, sometimes my bones just don't want to get up especially in the late spring when the bed is warm and the morning air is cold. I might have slept right through it except for some AARP missionaries knocking on my door. Threw a bucket of cold Geritol™ on them! Well, I am going now to buy some chips and beer so I can sit back in my recliner and watch Turner Classic Movies™. I don't know who Mr. Classic is, but I do like his movies. He must have been part of MGM or something.

T-(minus) 10 days
Got a call from a men's organization at my church. They are asking me if I want to play on the over-50 softball team. I tell them they have the wrong number and hung up on them. Then I got a call from AARP. I told them to call the softball team, bought a sports car, took a viagra, and chased my wife around the room.

T-(minus) 9 days
Every spring the mornings come earlier, so they tell me. The only problem is that every day, the sun seems to get up long before I can. This is getting worse and worse every year. It seems strange, while mother nature is exploding with life, daddy long legs is imploding with aches.

T-(minus) 8 days
Made it through another day with no problems. Well, there was this one nagging little gray hair, so I decided to shave my head. While I was in the middle of shaving my head, AARP called again. I cut the phone line with my razor.

T-(minus) 7 days
Wow a week left. It seems like the last 49 years, 51 weeks, 9 hours, 15 minutes, and 25.5938723 seconds have just flown by. I thought I would take this last week to also look at what I have done to celebrate 50 years - then again, to keep from getting too depressed, considered just making some stuff up. I didn't vote for Nixon and I didn't voter for Carter; the former by law, the latter by intelligence. I almost drowned a couple of times, almost got hit by a car or two at different times, but never did I drown while driving. I have loved many women and probably should have told at least one of them (but what they don't know, won't hurt them - much).

T-(minus) 6 days
I was recently reminded about an Army buddy who said that he never felt old until he realized the centerfold was younger than he was (at that was at 22). Now, when I [just happen] to notice the centerfold, I don't feel old; I feel ancient, but I have caught myself double-checking, just in case. And I can't even go into a Hooter's without feeling just plain weird (ok, weirder than normal). I have actually even recently read an article or two instead of looking at the pictures and gone to Hooters for the hot wings - and I am talking about the chicken type! Of course, I am not so old that I would buy frozen hot wings and heat them up at home. There are just some things you can't do by yourself.

T-(minus) 5 days
bought some frozen hot wings and heated them up for dinner, then read my junk mail from AARP.

T-(minus) 4 days
I was discussing politics with my daughter today, who wants to save the world while I just want to save for retirement. She said to me, "you know how old people are!" She was such a good daughter, I am going to miss her.

T-(minus) 3 days
You know how, as a kid you could fold yourself over like a pretzel. I tried it this morning and was able to fold myself like a two-by-four; not pretty. I thought, maybe I should take up jogging and stretching, so I jogged my memory to see how far I could stretch my imagination - got a cramp.

T-(minus) 2 days
A thought popped into my mind today. For a newborn, on the first full day, a day is 100% of their life. At one-year old the next year is twice as long as they have lived and at the age of five, one year is twenty percent of their lives. By the time you get to fifty, a year is 1/50th and a day is 1/18262 of your life. Time doesn't go faster, there is just more of it to keep up with. See, it isn't that I am forgetting things, there are just more places to put them and more things to keep track of, like prostates. Until you are over 40 no one even cares about it, then, all of the sudden, doctors do all sorts of strange things to find it and make sure its OK.

T-(minus) 1 days
Zero day is tomorrow and I can see over the hill and its not pretty. Run away now! Don't try it, don't even look at it!! Find another route. It isn't the "crest", that is a LIE, it is all up hill from here - AND STEEPER, with more rocks, bumps, bruises, and ill weather. I realize the alternative is not pretty either, but there must be a better way. Maybe if you start saving now, you can bribe someone so you can skip over this part. Just go fishing or something. And watever you do, watch out for those AARP guys. They are like a cross-breed between the Hare Krishna's and Jehovah's Witnesses, only more imposing.

I called up my high school friend who turned 50 last October to ask her why she didn't warn me. She laughed.

Can you imagine that. No warning from any of my brothers, friends, or even enemies! nothing!! "their hair turning gray" HA!, I hope their hair falls out and they all are put on hold when they call the Viagra hotline. (what? oh, they already have? and they didn't tell me about that either??? ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!)

Not that you have to worry about this, but think about what some famous person said some time ago, "I am not going to age gracefully, I am going to go kicking and screaming!" (Actually, I think several famous and not-so-famous people have said this.)

Zero day
Ugh!

Radical Islam

Let's say that there is a prostitute in Washington, DC (which is easy enough to do). But this one was drugging her Johns and severing his member. Naturally, the local police would be searching all over for her and, since it is DC, the Secret Service, FBI, and probably CIA would be on the hunt as well. If came to be known that this prostitute had long blond hair, was six feet tall, and had a good figure, would the short prostitutes with dark hair still be bringing in business? Of course not, the prostitute business would grind to a halt. The government would have to shut down because of all the frustrated workers (or there would be more 'business trips' to places like New York).
But you know what would happen? Every pimp in the city and every other prostitute would hunt this person down and she would disappear from the face of the earth - long before any legal authority could get to her.
That is the difference between prostitutes and Muslims.

To Ann Coulter in Memory of John Vincent Coulter

I am so very sorry to hear about the passing of your father. I understand that it is both a sorrowful and proud moment. We hate to be without those we cherish and admire, but enjoy the fact that they are with people like Reagan.
I can tell you this, however, that no other daughter has better proven her father's mettle and fortitude than have you. I am sure he is telling McCarthy all about you right now despite the fact Joe already knows - it's a dad's prerogative.
There is no question that he is as proud of you as I am of my daughters.
This is coming from a father of an Astrophysicist who is preparing to become a nun, a daughter who joined the National Guard knowing she might be sent to Iraq, and another daughter who is majoring in International Politics with a minor in Religion - and is still a conservative Republican!
I thank your father for having raised such a fine person and will keep him in my prayers.

The Huckabee Cross

Why is everyone complaining about the Huckabee cross? Didn't anyone see the elephant in the room called a Christmas Tree?!!! Or that he mentions "Christ" or says, "God bless and Merry Christmas". Of course it was meant to be a cross! He's a preacher.
The important thing is that it all appears to be a lie!
According to research on involuntary non-verbal communications "people telling falsehoods often involuntarily send a telltale nonverbal message to listeners by frequently blinking their eyes."
Watch when he talks about being worn out from "all the television commercials you've been seeing". He blinks incessantly - he isn't worn out, doesn't expect you are, and wants you to see more (such as this ad).
Then he says, "What really matters is a celebration of the birth of Christ." But, again he blinks incessantly - what really matters to him is getting elected.
In the 30-second political commercial, he blinks about 39 times. What is he hiding? Why do I not trust him?

A thought for the day...

When John the Baptist was preaching, "Soldiers ... asked him, 'And what is it that we should do?' He told them, 'Do not practice extortion, do not falsely accuse anyone, and be satisfied with your wages.' " (Luke 3:14)
And, what does Jesus say about John? That he was "more than a prophet." (Mat 11:9) and "Amen, I say to you, among those born of women there has been none greater than John the Baptist." (Mat 11:11)
So, if John is the second greatest person in the Bible and God has a commandment "Thou shalt not kill" and (we are told) God is opposed to soldiers killing the enemy, why did John miss this opportunity to say, "Soldiers, throw down your weapons and kill no one," and instead says something that is apparently innocuous: "be satisfied with your wages"?
Was John afraid of angering the soldiers? The same John who stood out the gates of the palace and loudly condemned Herod Antipas for adultery!!!???
Think about it.

Some Great Choices for President

When we look for a Presidential candidate first we look to someone who is dedicated, honest, intelligent, experienced, and has the ability and drive to work for the country. Then we ask personal questions of empathy, compassion, and sympathy. Only after they are vetted through this process will we ask for a position on the issues.

What if I told you that there was a person who had almost 20 years of experience in the highest levels of government? He was instrumental in the Cold War victory and the defeat of the Soviet Union resulting in the freedom of all of Eastern Europe. One of the greatest transitions of people and society in the history of the world – without shedding any blood. Although he never served in the military, has spent more than 10 years working effectively and enthusiastically with and within the corridors at the Pentagon.

What about the young man who started college at 15 and received a bachelor's degree in political science, cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, at the age of 20; a master's from the University of Notre Dame at 25; and Ph.D. at 31. Awarded honorary doctorates from Morehouse College, the University of Alabama, the University of Notre Dame, and the Mississippi College School of Law. Who also speaks French, German, Spanish, and fluent Russian and has played the piano since the age of three.

For those interested in a business leader, there is the guy who was a member of the boards of directors for the Chevron Corporation, the Charles Schwab Corporation, the University of Notre Dame, and the International Advisory Council of J.P. Morgan. In addition, a board member of the Transamerica Corporation, Hewlett Packard, the Carnegie Corporation, and The Rand Corporation.

For charity and community programs, there is always the hero who was a Founding Board member of the Center for a New Generation – an educational support fund for local schools, Vice President of the regional Boys and Girls Club, on the board of directors for the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, the San Francisco Symphony Board of Governors, Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, the Mid-Peninsula Urban Coalition, and KQED public broadcasting for San Francisco.

Then there are those who look for a Secretary of State in the line of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren and James Buchanan. I know another man who fits easily into that category.

Of course, this is a Christian country and our President must believe in God. There is always the son of a Presbyterian minister who participated and assisted his father in his ministry throughout his life. He was a first-hand witness of the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s and has worked throughout his life for the fair treatment and success of minorities.

For the jock in all of us, there is the football jock who know more about football then the average Monday morning quarterback (and some of the Sunday afternoon quarterbacks on the field). Someone who excelled in sports and enjoys it to the fullest, competing at the collegiate level.

What if I told you each of these persons was the same person?
What if I told you he was black?
What if I told you he was a she?

Condoleezza Rice (Condi, we need you. Please run! It's not too late.)

The world actually is black and white

The world actually is black and white.

There is right and there is wrong and we must make rules based on what is right or wrong. Only after that can we look at each violation on a case-by-case basis and determine a "special circumstance". If we have no standard, we have no measurement of success.

Being elected isn't a job, it is an honor and there is no honor if there is no character.